Have you ever wondered how some people are able to command the attention of a large crowd of people? Have you ever wondered how some people are always able to get other people to go along to all their nefarious plans despite it being absolutely ludicrous? The answer to these questions isn’t in the way someone looks but in the way how someone carries themselves and in the way how that person appeals to other people.
Being likeable at its core is about the ability for people to invoke feelings of pleasantness and relatability within another person towards themselves.
So the question you should be asking yourself is:
How then am I able to invoke feelings of pleasantness
towards myself from other people?
Here are three ways to increase the chances of getting people to like you:
1. Make good first impressions
You only get one chance to make a good first impression so make it count. Based on a study conducted by researchers in the University of British Columbia Toronto, the first impressions you make are impressions that will last a long time if not forever. This then affects the way relationships are built and how people feel about you and react to things you do.
In order to get first impressions down, you need to be courteous and nice to everyone you meet. However we understand that takes a lot of effort - especially after I myself have gone through something not so pleasant. A simple trick to make trying to be nice for the majority of time more feasible would be to try to start the day on a good note.
As soon as you wake up, look yourself in the mirror and force yourself to smile. This helps as the human brain is pre-programmed through many years of evolution to adapt itself to the motions of our bodies to ensure our survival.
Therefore to ensure your social survival you too must use the programming that you’ve born with to your advantage. So start the day with a smile.
In Power Up Your Success video course (which you can access below), Michael Teoh, director of Thriving Talents talks about how changing your physiology will attract people to you.
2. Reduce Cognitive Strain
According to Daniel Kahneman, the Nobel Prize winner in economics (yes economics), the brain is a very peculiar thing because for such a complex organ it is quite lazy. Our brains will usually choose the easiest option it can in responding to certain stimulus and more often than not when we are faced with something or someone who is in opposition to our view of the world, our brains will automatically respond with resistance.
In getting people to like you, you need to reduce resistance. But before you can do this you need to know what they are opposed to. Observe the person whom you’re speaking or interacting with. Ask questions about them and listen to their story, pick up cues on what they believe to be true and get a good gauge of what their world looks like. If you know them by name, always remember to use it in your conversations. People are known to be vain, we love the feeling of being recognized or remembered.
3. Having Integrity
Believing in something you hold dear and acting with honesty can also add to your likeability as most people react well to people who are sincere and passionate.
It is best to have a firm believe in something and stick to it. There is a fine line between being polite and being someone with no opinions of their own. Be a human being with a mind not with a puppet that bends to the wind, because after some time even the puppet master gets tired playing with the strings.
Having a real character goes a long way. Sometimes, we tend to go overboard that it feels fake. And people can easily recognize it if you are not being genuine. One simple tip that Michael teaches is to try to be confident but respectful. For example, when you're introduced, step toward a person and bend slightly forward , in a gesture of a bow is a gesture of respect.
Another example would be to make steady eye contact with the person you are talking. This does not mean that you have to stare. It is fine to look away every now and then but generally, you should be facing the person. Small gestures like these will take you a long way toward making people think more highly of you.